躺在床上安靜的抽煙       腦袋裏萌生出很多念頭
                                    突然很想喝可樂     卻懶得挪動自己的身體去便利店買


                          絕望得久了是不是就會麻木                    看似溫暖的假笑讓我沉淪
                                       僞裝的欲望                忽明忽暗                        接近消失 
                                         現在的我  應該沒有絕望太久  只是有點不習慣
                                                 不知道怎樣前進才能一如既往的平靜


                                                聖誕夜      那些一閃而過地記得      讓我疼痛 
                                    用最快的速度     把自己灌醉     然後一頭倒向沙發   昏昏睡去
                                                   那些不願再想起的   真的不再記得嗎
                                                     還是只不過是選擇性的刪除記憶
 

                                                                                                                
                                                    感情這東西真他媽的。。。。。  犯濺
                                    

   
                                           生活一如既往的似同白開水
                                每次以爲是崩潰邊緣的時候
                                縂有那麽點事那麽點人讓我看到點希望
                                然後      破滅

                                                                                                      還記得年少時的夢嗎
                                                                                                      閉上眼    雙手深埋進零亂的頭髮    
                                                                                                      試圖想起點什麽    一點點就好   
                                                                                                     長長的指甲把頭皮抓到隱隱作痛   
                                                                                                     是記憶力減退   還是原本就沒有夢
                                                                                                     那一處的空白       讓我心生恐懼

                                                            埋怨過老天的不公
                                                            埋怨過母親的婚姻
                                                            埋怨過愛人的欺騙
                                                            埋怨過朋友的背叛
                                                            埋怨過。。。太多
                                                            埋怨成爲習慣   成爲逃避的藉口
                                                            但   由始至終    我又做過什麽努力過什麽  
                                                            沒有   什麽都沒有    有的只是推卸     
                                                             最終   我連埋怨的資格都失去                                              
                                                             
                                                            
                                                                                                           試想有人對我說着綿綿不斷的情話
                                                     可是那些情話我還會相信嗎？
                                                     感覺怪異.....            
                                                                                                           在一秒裏很快愛上一個男人 
                                                                                                           迅速升溫後在另一個一秒裏    冷卻  
                                                                                                           情節不斷重復  角色不斷替換                                                                                                            疑惑  這是愛嗎？ 還是因爲害怕寂寞？


                                                         我怕了   我自卑了   我退卻了
                                                         我是一個懦弱的人了
                                                         我把自己活生生的給糟蹋了